but it forces me to write and i should probably flex my brain muscles...
since... if i were to describe it visually... my brain is just a huge heifer, fatty, slow and gasping for the nearest inhaler...
something really catastrophic has happened ..
to the limits of creating and progressing to and actual change...
and if you have noticed within the past 5 years or my xanga thoughts...
i am all talk and empty hopes... and it seems as though even in my times of desperation...
i couldn't help but stay where i was.. and just wish my self to death...
and i just recently found out that its because i literally didnt know how...
heres a nerd connotation...
you have your rpg character... and your ready to conquer, accumulate, and mature.
as you look at the map, its all dark. until you go and discover and experiance that new land for its creatures, people and valubles. slowly as you explore. the map becomes clearer and clearer.. until you have discovered everything you can..
but what if you were trapped in maybe only... 4x4 space.
and you were willingly blocking you mind from growing up. because honestly it really isnt that hard. all you have to do is convice youself that.. there is something worth holding youself back.
and i did..
just thought this picture was beautiful... and beautiful isnt always happy.. | 
